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Ex-Dictator Of Zaire

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Sunday, January 1st, 2006
3:18 pm - nipple harvy
wenisguys345 (2:46:44 PM): ho new year happy dance man?

The Ex-Dictator of fucking Zaire bitch%%100%% (2:47:56 PM): damn new year gearhead fart dangle now

wenisguys345 (2:50:18 PM): now?!?!?!? what flagert happen favorite company :-X lavish lauren mine too!

The Ex-Dictator of fucking Zaire bitch%%100%% (2:51:57 PM): interrupt-etus have eight blank time gearhead sprocket red dangle NOW!

The Ex-Dictator of fucking Zaire bitch%%100%% (2:53:20 PM): brewery banch-man, if voite makes fear maker _______ lavish lauren

wenisguys345 (2:53:45 PM): RED DANGLE!!! lion heart and copper belly fist. tell fever sprocket red dangle leftist.....

The Ex-Dictator of fucking Zaire bitch%%100%% (2:53:59 PM): hmmm

wenisguys345 (2:54:05 PM): i know seriously

The Ex-Dictator of fucking Zaire bitch%%100%% (2:54:20 PM): topher grace grand ballroom hanky totus

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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
6:05 am - The live debate on potator farming
SNOT SOUNDGRAPH: So, how is little Charlemagne and the Woots?

FIGGLESMUMP: The whomsir, and the whatsdear?

SNOT SOUNDGRAPH: Nevermind. Do you mind if I rip off your anus and use it as a whip on my poor homies?

FIGGLESMUMP: I'm sworfy, good mad'ham, I've seemed to have losten my founden dear gogglesworth.

SNOT SOUNDGRAPH: Dude, the other day I was in the butcher shop and this real big lady came up to me and asked for my address. I was like "shit bitch you think this yo dreamin?" Calcatoot out MUTHAFUCKAZ.

FIGGLESMUMP: I would haresay upon advising your... your.... Sorry. Sworfy...Sworffley. BIGGLEBUMP!


INTERNET, "the swamp": Please, follow my sister as she dances into the vagina hair, ass ass in!! ass ass in! HAHA just a little joke i play on people when im rippin dey teef out wif my hammer thang aint no thang thang aint no thang thang dAprey swax.

FIGGLESMUMP: Wait.... What's my name again?

CAT BURGER: Figglesmump.

FIGGLESMUMP: Cat sausage?



current mood: Greta

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Monday, June 27th, 2005
3:36 pm - Sinking
B and H
not much time to write because i should be packing right about now.
Bitches and Hoes.. wow.. that's the best way to describe it.
Hoes are awesome.. and Bitches are close to it.. JK love you guys.
i had such an amazing time..
softball girls: thanks so much for letting me a part of it!!
kelly and lauren: I'm sorry I cannot attend your parties but you will still be recieving something from me. I love you both.
And thank you Lauren for loaning your house to the team.
Oh and Lauren Sibula, thanks for the pizza. i was dying of hunger, let me tell you.

That's all I'm saying for now.
So much to do, with such little time!!

Boston: TOMORROW at 5 in the AM

will update after with a ton of stuff to speak of.
I will miss you all..
Call me so we can hang out before I leave.

Oh and Teresa gets here on the 25th!!!

Peace Out

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Thursday, June 16th, 2005
4:33 am
Koogle (also pronounced Kuggle)

First ever ear.

My brain is squeegee.

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Friday, June 10th, 2005
3:27 am - summer time and a great time for savings
Well, another year has passed since I've started this blog. Is it a blog, or is it a livejournal? I'm still not even sure, hehe. I heard a thing on NPR about blogs the other evening, but- well, haha look at me im rambling again! It just goes to show that you can't change the past, and the future is built one brick at a time. I'd like to hear about everyone's winter and autumn some time soon, yes, even you Marge, not even I hold a grudge for that long.

Who's got hiking boots? I need a pair for a 3d mobile I'm making for my neighbor's newborn infant. This whole birth rebirth thing makes me remember when I once tortured some guy back in Zaire. Did you know they're stopping production on Slice orange soda? God, I feel so old when I think about myself as an infant in Zaire bathing in tubs and tubs of Slice. The good things in our lives all dissapear.

Well, call me soon. My phone's always on, and if I'm not there my ferret will answer. JK, yo. Krakkakow,,,,>

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Thursday, February 24th, 2005

reminiscing the old days.

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Sunday, January 9th, 2005
12:35 am
I know, I know, everyone SAYS when they watch "Revenge of the Nerds" "ooohh I'd wanna be a nerd, because really they're cooler and more fun than dumb jocks", but I personally rather disagree. Of course, the nerds get better grades and more free stuff from Scholastic, but I would rather be one of the popular guys from that other frat. They listen to good music, get drunk all the time, have lots of booty-pumpin American sex, and, most importantly, they get to beat the snot out of NERDS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. to be a dictator again...

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Saturday, November 13th, 2004
9:02 pm
oh my gossh


-public enemy

ok now that we're in the mood:
I went to hog dogaria's today for the first time in like FOURever and I saw not one, but two seperate people who said that they could hook me up with a job in a zombie movie, reporting. Josh H. was there with me, and Numan.

<3 + JBz,

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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
12:05 am
as John Lennon once said "maybe I'm amazed at the way I need you. Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pull me out of time". That's right guys. I have a girlfriend. Her name is Cheslee. I call her Chesl for short, or to save time, like on a speeding subway that's gonna get somewhere real fast. Me and Cheslee met at a mall. I was there with my friend Gregory Peck, and she was there with her friend Deezil. Gregory and Deezil knew eachother, so me and Cheslee went to get a pita together at the PITA PIT!!!!!! (LETTUCE?)

now, I have to go. Me and Chesl are going to the rug emporium. Haha shut up, cheslee! Livejournals are not for girls!! haha what a kiddrr

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Sunday, October 10th, 2004
9:32 pm - love is a naked golfer
At the risk of pointing out the obvious, life and fate sure have a sense of humor and a really messed up way of doing things. It was fun talking to Danielle tonite after so many years, specially cuz I never knew that she was so close by. I miss Zaire, the beautiful autumns when all the leaves turned red at the same time...and the first snow of the season....and running around the tracks behind my house, falling asleep to the sound of the 10.45 train with its endless wagons....going to downtown Oak Park on the bus and hanging out doing anything and everything....umm, the pizza...the old movie theather....that place where they gave out free samples of fresh breaked bread until too many people from my HS forced them to stop doing it :-P......the Windy Country sure has an appeal like no other. Every so often I wonder what my life would have been like if I had stayed there. Our house was awesome, and the neighberhood was pretty cool, not to mention that I actually knew my neighbors over there (in fact, my parents probably still keep in touch with them...). It's such a different dynamic, a more traditional lifestyle I guess while still keeping that nice edge of the city. Two years was just a horrible tease for what seven years could have been....haha, I would have probably been in some Ivy school by now had I kept my school record the way it was going and my plastic surgeon kept that job that he had, specially coming out of my HS....ah, the possibilities that I'll never know about. Still, Danielle got out of there as soon as she could, so I guess either I'm over-romanticising the whole thing or it was cuz she grew up there so she didn't know any different. Still, I can't understand how she would like SF better than Zaire....sorry to all my BA peeps, but it's true, I'll take Zaire any day over SF. So yeah, I'll have to clarify that when I see her next month, make her give me a good reason why she picked it, hehehe.

current mood: chipper

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Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
7:53 pm
Hey. First off, I want to apologize to Sydney for the whole plastic-wrap thing. I realize that yes, it might not have been the safest prank in the world. whatever.

anyways, now that thats done, I can talk about what happened to me at Border's. So I'm sittin' around, eatin' a Chocolate-raspberry crumble brownie, with a fork of course, when up walks Girard. Remember Girard?? Minister of torture at my palace? I was totally blown away! So I quickly put an earmark in Governor Jesse Ventura's frank and heartwarming autobiography, "Ain't Got Time to Bleed", and offered him a seat. We talked for literally YEARS! It was all "Man you've changed" "Oh yeah, well you know, it's the new Juicer I bought, it brings the color out and all the juice takes off a few pounds!", ya know, back and forth stuff. So just as he's gettin' up to go back from whence he came, what do I notice sticking to his shoe?????? A Finger!! A human finger!!! WOW!!!!!!

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Monday, October 4th, 2004
5:38 pm - SHIT
I cant fucking believe this is happening. AGHHH its lik the story of my fucking life. I am like the worst friend ever. holyshitholyshitholyshit. ugggHHHHGGGHHH. I mean it just that it happens every FUCKING TIME. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

I feel like Linus.

ugh. leave a message if you can think of something that I can do

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Friday, September 24th, 2004
1:10 am
Hi all. I'm writing to you from Israel right now, where, as they say, a cup of tea in one hand and a red hot poker in the other. Ha, well, the sun is hot here, hotter than it is in the States or Zaire. But in Zaire, I had two little guys who walked around and fanned me, so I'm just assuming it was hot. Why else would they be fanning me? (Fonz, you know what I'm saying lol).

Yesterday I bought a cool coffee mug that says "Nothing left in my right brain, nothing right in my left brain". Just a little something to make me laugh or cheer me up on a cold morning, I think it's pretty cute. And it's got a little picture of a woman who looks totally baffled and stressed out by life, kind of like how I feel sometimes.

Is someone feeding my cat-baby while I'm gone? Stefanie, could you maybe if nobody is? Thanks hon, I owe you one.

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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
10:10 am
So I went on a huge drug binge on Saturday night with Patrick and Stewl. You should have seen us. I had the best time of my life. We were driving around, when suddenly I had this idea. I thought we were extremely unsafe and unprotected from the Women of the Night, so I drove us down to the junkyard and we made a force field around the car made out of tires and plastic pieces and old license plates and tapes from bands no one knows. Except this one, ACDC. I've heard of them. And there were a couple old maps and plastic bags in the forcefield. So anyhow, still COMPLETELY high on drugs, but feeling much more secure, we took our moving fortress to Denny's. Except we didn't make it to Denny's, because I couldn't see out of the car and we crashed into a snow-making machine. So we left the car there, and decided we'd WALK to white castle if we had to. Because by God. By God, We were going to eat White Castle before the night was through, come what may.

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Saturday, September 18th, 2004
1:39 am - Just.. cause
I used to sit and look out my window and wonder what would happen to the rest of my life. Indeed what could happen in those mystical years in Zaire? The morning air used to make me feel so powerful, even with my PJs still on and a cup of coffee (sometimes a bagel or a donut too) in my hand. People looked so small from the palace and I wondered if there could be anything beyond dictatorship. I mean, you work so hard to get to the top, but once youre there you just miss the struggle, y'know? I've always had mixed feelings about what happened, generally I've always considered it a fuck up, but lately, I don't even know. My new friend Rob tells me that Life is an adventure. God. Sitting there last night was like a moment of complete and utter truth. I would change nothing. The two of us, just out of the center, amongst all those animals, and the popsicles, and ah. It was beautiful. I looked over to Rob, he was petting giggles, the lemur, and I said "What's next?" and he replied with a mere "Who knows?". Who knows is right. Its a new world out there. A beautiful one. And I am so ready to kick that kid that called me dud's ass.

PS! it worked!! thanks guys, I now have my very own rug dispenser.

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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
1:02 am - I say it's all just wind in sails
Hey so I went to a poetry workshop the other night. I mean, Lloyd had been telling me for a while about this one program down at the adult center near where I live or you live, if you are my neighbor Ray, so anyways i went down and signed up and we had the introductory meeting. The first guy I met was named Sneeze and he was wearing this giant suit made out of I don't know what and he asked me "why" was I wearing so much leopard? And so I repeated (for the 9 billionth time!!!!!!!!!!!) my story about being dictator and being ousted by bla bla bla etc. oh my god im so sick of that crap. Can't everyone just pretend I'm normal? I'm just normal

I'm just a normal guy basically. I just want normal friends and to stop being treated like some kind of a freak.

(Sue call me you've got that extra three-pronged set of extensions I've been looking for)

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Monday, September 6th, 2004
12:39 am
Oh my god I have the funniest story from last night.

Ok, so me and Harold and General Arthurson were all sitting around in the General's basement (We always end up there!!!), and suddenly I felt something in my ear, and I was like "There's a spider in my ear! There's a spider in my ear!" And everyone was all rolling on the floor laughing, and I was totally freaking out and I was all like "What, guys??! What?????". It turned out it wasn't a spider at all! It was just my wife!! Hahahahaha. She was in my ear again. She loves that trick.

I hate that bitch.

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Friday, August 13th, 2004
12:45 am - bristol harbor in the distance...
well, i sail for mauberly at dusk. the last train to pinsbury left at around teatime this afternoon, and you would never ever guess who was on it. my lover. yes, my lover. she has departed, so i leave for bristol. at dusk. the sailing should be wonderful, and from what i hear, they have simply exquisite acrobats and performers to keep your eyes awake and your heart from sinking. love to all, update and pics when i get back!
Ce'st dljkd ,

Ex dictator of ZAIRE

P.S. Sara fucking Selitsky! Stop spreading rumors that I'm dead! bitch.

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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
2:21 pm - no one is ever happy
I just found a pair of sneakers that I used to wear when I was dating Jessica and it brought back so many memories of mud fights and gum chewing and I realized that nothing really ever keeps going and all good things end only for bad things to start like my grandma always yelling at me about not having enough charisma, I mean, is it so hard just to find someone that you can relate to like I want a kind of girl that will know who I am and understand that I cant control everything and can give a little sympathy when I fuck up a dictatorship (which I do EVERY TIME!!) oh god why cant i just be happy like the people in Adam Sandler movies. Fuck.

N E one want to go with me to Noodles and Co. sometime soon?

current mood: melancholy

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Monday, July 19th, 2004
6:08 pm
alright, so that guy on the street...that wasn't cool. seriously. It's one thing to throw fuzzy jackets and potstickers at people. But. I dunno. Trundle beds was taking it a little too far, i think. That's my personal opinion. It's really unreassuring to realize that you can't even walk around the streets anymore without trundle beds flying atcha. Jesus.

anyways, at the arts festival for the arts i met these two ladies, trisha and steven. PIC TIME!!!!::: http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:N7ZPcEAYokgJ:jtownsend.home.att.net/AMVHOA/picnic2003/Breadmaker.JPG

check that out, those are two cool women.

I gotta go get some liquor. bye.

Luv, Extrzre

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